A new genre of memoirs reveals one reason behind the decline in women's happiness - liberal feminism is antithetical to fostering healthy relationships
An interesting article! There has been pressure in the last few decades for women to put their careers first, even if they have a partner and family. Women are supposed to do it all ( we tell ourselves) but in the end sacrifices will always have to be made and women have to make hard choices. I have never regretted turning down promotions (and an increased work load) and putting my family first until my children were older and more independent. I do know women who feel guilty because they didn’t make this same choice. They have close relationships with their adult children but they still feel like they missed out on so many beautiful moments when their children were young. A career ends at a certain point but relationships with your partner, children and grandchildren continue for life. Making the choice to focus on your career, either by waiting to start a family or by prioritizing work when you have a family, doesn’t necessarily lead to a better life for women.
And the flip side for men. Even the “winners” (wealthy, successful etc) eventually age out and are lonely too. And the “losers” are despondent at a young age. (on one of your podcasts someone made the point that without marriage the more attractive males will have a disproportionate number of females. Thus marriage and monogamy were created so that everyone ends up paired up. I thought this was an incredible point.)
Is it liberal feminism or the prevalence of corporate culture that tries to monetize all aspects of life so relationships are devalued? In its simplest form liberal feminism says women’s rights are human rights.
Haha. I don’t think feminism is that powerful. Corporations are risk averse and put profits ahead of the way they treat employees. Hence the dismantling of pensions and benefits that labour unions worked so hard to get in place in the 20th century. Once you’re hired by a corporation you have few rights. Except the choice to leave. Read the non fiction book, Government, which outlines the growth in corporate power.
Free enterprise is the only means by which capitalist, democratic societies can advance. Yes, challenges have existed in the past, but regulatory frameworks like today’s, will stifle innovation, reduce prosperity and exacerbate social issues like poverty. Today’s issue will only be resolved by industry, not government. And fringe policies based on feminism/neoliberal ideology which our current Federal leaders slavenly adhere to, and promote (no doubt in large part by our feminist PM), is a great illustration about how devastating these policies impact society as a whole.
Feminism was around before neoliberal economic theories and global markets. Like the presumption of innocence and the right to a fair trial. It’s about the right of women to be treated with respect whether they are StAH moms or high powered career women and everyone in between.
You believe feminism existed before the Silk Trade Route at the dawn of The Roman Empire? I mean…even if it did, so what?
Respect is earned through one’s actions, it should never be granted “just ‘cuz”. History has taught us that. Slapping a label on someone based on an ideological movement doesn’t change anything. The creation of a healthy, viable society where people are allowed to live their own lives can only occur first and foremost if our economies are strong. Currently in Canada we don’t have that. Demanding though that we ignore that and focus on ideological principles, like feminism, divides our society rather than building it better. These are hard learned lessons that this stay at home mum has found to be the truth, and the sooner we eradicate these harmful, hateful principles that have only made us weaker, the better.
So so good. A conversation I have been having with my 20 year old daughter, and it is hands down the best write up I have read by a woman.
Its ok to be traditional. Embrace it. I have told my daughters, not to fall into the lie that sex is for pure pleasure, but to "hold out" and be unattainable. To choose a mate. In the end nothing makes a man happier than coming home to a happy home, and a good hot meal after work, a beautiful hard working wife. Building a family. They are labours of love to the right person.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and writing about this topic for several years as I have noted the poor societal outcomes. We are currently experiencing a once-in-history experiment in the industrialized world that is attempting to put females in social and economic dominance over males. The human animal has been around for a while in modernity to write a lot of history of attempts at social organization. There are no examples of female-dominated societies or cultures of any material size and scope. Evolution is a sticky thing that establishes the rules deep in our behavior processor... and attempting to completely uproot and reverse those rules because someone has progressive liberal ideas that the normal is repressive and oppressive, well it is destructive to the whole.
I have blamed feminists for all of this. My view is that the leaders are simply social misfits and malcontents that lack or reject self-awareness and/or the difficult process of psychological healing... and have decided to punch down the entirety of males to feel better.
But today I reserve my greater disgust and anger for the weak men that support this movement to emasculate their gender. Their virtue signaling in fear of being called a misogynist or to earn scraps of feminist praise, rather than them joining in criticism of the feminist direction, has enabled the social chaos and the misery of too many lonely and confused women and men.
Unfortunately today, we have an abundance of fearful and weak men and they are celebrated while the true warriors are denigrated. From my perspective THAT Is the bigger source of our gender divide... and one we should target to correct.
Where this is all screwed up is that the feminists have decided that they must emasculate males in order to achieve their goals... and emasculated males have joined them and together they have amassed enough power and influence over our institutions to accelerate this destruction. This has not only led to gender conflict and lonely people, but it has opened the door for a lot of related radicalism that is attempting to uproot social norms that have previously provided the root of cultural and social stability for centuries before. The men that we see as celebrated influential leaders are in fact the weakest males, and those that the tech algorithms punch down are in fact the strong males that oppose the radical gender ideology march.
We have everything backwards. I don't hold out much hope for a course correction at this point. Fearful and weak people hold the power and money and are committed to their retention of both.
The modern way makes selfishness an ideal. If you really want to get a movement going, playing to broad human traits is the way to go. That couples nicely with independence. All in the same direction. I fell for the independence thing earlier in life. Very lonely to be selfish and independent.
An interesting article! There has been pressure in the last few decades for women to put their careers first, even if they have a partner and family. Women are supposed to do it all ( we tell ourselves) but in the end sacrifices will always have to be made and women have to make hard choices. I have never regretted turning down promotions (and an increased work load) and putting my family first until my children were older and more independent. I do know women who feel guilty because they didn’t make this same choice. They have close relationships with their adult children but they still feel like they missed out on so many beautiful moments when their children were young. A career ends at a certain point but relationships with your partner, children and grandchildren continue for life. Making the choice to focus on your career, either by waiting to start a family or by prioritizing work when you have a family, doesn’t necessarily lead to a better life for women.
That is so spot on. Too many women have feelings of guilt no matter which path they take. Choice is wonderful. But it has its downsides.
Great column.
Spoiler alert, you got played.
Similar to males joining the military to bring democracy to guys that have goats for girlfriends.
My hope is that in the future you find the peace and
happiness you so richly deserve.
I only request that you try bringing this knowledge and insight to younger females.
I hope every 15 year old girl reads this.
Ya, I fell for that 'bringing democracy' crap for many years. What a load.
An important topic that needs more discussion.
And the flip side for men. Even the “winners” (wealthy, successful etc) eventually age out and are lonely too. And the “losers” are despondent at a young age. (on one of your podcasts someone made the point that without marriage the more attractive males will have a disproportionate number of females. Thus marriage and monogamy were created so that everyone ends up paired up. I thought this was an incredible point.)
Is it liberal feminism or the prevalence of corporate culture that tries to monetize all aspects of life so relationships are devalued? In its simplest form liberal feminism says women’s rights are human rights.
Feminism sets the tone for corporate values.
Haha. I don’t think feminism is that powerful. Corporations are risk averse and put profits ahead of the way they treat employees. Hence the dismantling of pensions and benefits that labour unions worked so hard to get in place in the 20th century. Once you’re hired by a corporation you have few rights. Except the choice to leave. Read the non fiction book, Government, which outlines the growth in corporate power.
Free enterprise is the only means by which capitalist, democratic societies can advance. Yes, challenges have existed in the past, but regulatory frameworks like today’s, will stifle innovation, reduce prosperity and exacerbate social issues like poverty. Today’s issue will only be resolved by industry, not government. And fringe policies based on feminism/neoliberal ideology which our current Federal leaders slavenly adhere to, and promote (no doubt in large part by our feminist PM), is a great illustration about how devastating these policies impact society as a whole.
Feminism was around before neoliberal economic theories and global markets. Like the presumption of innocence and the right to a fair trial. It’s about the right of women to be treated with respect whether they are StAH moms or high powered career women and everyone in between.
You believe feminism existed before the Silk Trade Route at the dawn of The Roman Empire? I mean…even if it did, so what?
Respect is earned through one’s actions, it should never be granted “just ‘cuz”. History has taught us that. Slapping a label on someone based on an ideological movement doesn’t change anything. The creation of a healthy, viable society where people are allowed to live their own lives can only occur first and foremost if our economies are strong. Currently in Canada we don’t have that. Demanding though that we ignore that and focus on ideological principles, like feminism, divides our society rather than building it better. These are hard learned lessons that this stay at home mum has found to be the truth, and the sooner we eradicate these harmful, hateful principles that have only made us weaker, the better.
Thank you.
So so good. A conversation I have been having with my 20 year old daughter, and it is hands down the best write up I have read by a woman.
Its ok to be traditional. Embrace it. I have told my daughters, not to fall into the lie that sex is for pure pleasure, but to "hold out" and be unattainable. To choose a mate. In the end nothing makes a man happier than coming home to a happy home, and a good hot meal after work, a beautiful hard working wife. Building a family. They are labours of love to the right person.
This is good and timely.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and writing about this topic for several years as I have noted the poor societal outcomes. We are currently experiencing a once-in-history experiment in the industrialized world that is attempting to put females in social and economic dominance over males. The human animal has been around for a while in modernity to write a lot of history of attempts at social organization. There are no examples of female-dominated societies or cultures of any material size and scope. Evolution is a sticky thing that establishes the rules deep in our behavior processor... and attempting to completely uproot and reverse those rules because someone has progressive liberal ideas that the normal is repressive and oppressive, well it is destructive to the whole.
I have blamed feminists for all of this. My view is that the leaders are simply social misfits and malcontents that lack or reject self-awareness and/or the difficult process of psychological healing... and have decided to punch down the entirety of males to feel better.
But today I reserve my greater disgust and anger for the weak men that support this movement to emasculate their gender. Their virtue signaling in fear of being called a misogynist or to earn scraps of feminist praise, rather than them joining in criticism of the feminist direction, has enabled the social chaos and the misery of too many lonely and confused women and men.
Unfortunately today, we have an abundance of fearful and weak men and they are celebrated while the true warriors are denigrated. From my perspective THAT Is the bigger source of our gender divide... and one we should target to correct.
Where this is all screwed up is that the feminists have decided that they must emasculate males in order to achieve their goals... and emasculated males have joined them and together they have amassed enough power and influence over our institutions to accelerate this destruction. This has not only led to gender conflict and lonely people, but it has opened the door for a lot of related radicalism that is attempting to uproot social norms that have previously provided the root of cultural and social stability for centuries before. The men that we see as celebrated influential leaders are in fact the weakest males, and those that the tech algorithms punch down are in fact the strong males that oppose the radical gender ideology march.
We have everything backwards. I don't hold out much hope for a course correction at this point. Fearful and weak people hold the power and money and are committed to their retention of both.
The modern way makes selfishness an ideal. If you really want to get a movement going, playing to broad human traits is the way to go. That couples nicely with independence. All in the same direction. I fell for the independence thing earlier in life. Very lonely to be selfish and independent.