"There are differences, we need to acknowledge them."
For me this is the summary of where we are right now. At every level, our society is expecting conformity, and sameness. Our culture talks about diversity, and by that they mean race & gender which is the shallowest form of diversity.
As humans we are all unique. Saying that all (pick your group) are the same is simply not true. It is useful for those in the media who like to create narratives, but in no way fits reality.
At the local level, institutions are important as they can provide structures for those who are on the margins to fit in. For instance, I have an employee who is a recovered Drug Addict. The most important thing in his life is that twice a month he sets up for a Church Event. Being able to contribute in that way gives his life meaning. Providing these types of opportunities for the people on the margins is the glue that keeps societies together. It is easy to throw stones, and say that all those people in that church are "right wing" but they are creating space & including the marginalized.
Many of the people who talk about diversity, are not willing to make space for the people on the edges so of course people on the edges gravitate to the institutions that do.
“What could the media be missing about where men and women are at these days?”
What if they’re not missing anything? I wish you would consider the media’s role in social engineering, Tara. There is intent in creating imbalance between the sexes, and in society in general. Narratives are promoted when it behooves those in power; others are suppressed when they don’t further the goals. Your guest calls it a ‘low trust’ moment. Why is that? Could it be that we are in a ‘low truth’ moment, and start wondering why that is?
Tara, nice guy. Again, dancing around the real issue. "Roadmap for men"? Useless until we remove the road blocks. And, the roadblocks are the open and unapologetic discrimination against heterosexual white men, overwhelmingly in favor of women. You can't cure what you misdiagnose.
Younger women have been raised to view themselves as victims of males. This justifies "centering" them. Hiring them. Promoting them. Etc etc. Hard to give that up, both the perks and the victimhood self-definition and worldview.
Sooooooo. Men have been told we're shit for the last 20 years mostly by women. Now we're supposed to go out in public spaces and gently inquire as to how we can make women feel better? Fuck that. How about you experts do something useful and learn how to be plumbers and electricians? Going through life, I've run into a strain of people that create problems out of thin air. That's our college educated class. Just get the fuck out of the way and let people be, so we can go out and interact with other people like normal human beings. Net negative.
LOVE this interview. So many things I would like to say. And for the sake of brevity, I will limit myself to the tip of the iceberg.
In 23 years of working with families and individuals in the areas of Church, mental wellness and community development, my feeling is that the major shift in the last 20 years is the increased need for relationships that are emotionally intelligent. The collapse of manufacturing in 2000 (remember Nortel????) moved us to a service based economy.
So here are my two points in relation to this interview.
In 2019 I wrote a research paper on the dynamics of Male victims of Domestic Violence and abuse. Out of that paper, in relation to this interview, here are the two points:
1) Raising children is a super important point - in North America we are FAR behind Europe. I the US - research focused primarily on the delivery of services tied to political battles tied to $$$. In Canada, the research was non-existent. From a Canadian perspective, I found it ironic that the best Public Messaging came out of Alberta. Canadians will hopefully understand the irony. It is Europe that there was research directed at helpful emerging social attitudes at looking at people as people before slotting them in this or that category.
2) Bottom line - men need help in overcoming this deficit without stigmatizing them. That means accepting that men form relationships along social norms just as any human being does. I get the sense that there still is a feeling that "men need to do this on their own. It's their responsibility" in the subtext. To use a stereotype to make the point - no one would find it weird that a man would help his wife (for example) to change the oil in her car, if she were of a certain age. The point is that, today it might sound odd to make that gender distinction. And we need to collectively be mindful that it took time to get there.
THANK YOU for this series. In the end, the lesson is that fundamental respect, curiosity about the other person and wishing mutual being for all is what will soften the gender wars - at least from my perspective, for whatever that's worth (LOL)
Like seeing through the bullshit of this comment. Running on emotions means you’re more aware of what is driving your actions. Men who don’t give credence to their emotions often act unconsciously, and say and do stupid things like post sexist comments. Both sexes can be manipulated equally. It’s not emotionality that causes gullibility, it’s lack of emotional awareness.
"There are differences, we need to acknowledge them."
For me this is the summary of where we are right now. At every level, our society is expecting conformity, and sameness. Our culture talks about diversity, and by that they mean race & gender which is the shallowest form of diversity.
As humans we are all unique. Saying that all (pick your group) are the same is simply not true. It is useful for those in the media who like to create narratives, but in no way fits reality.
At the local level, institutions are important as they can provide structures for those who are on the margins to fit in. For instance, I have an employee who is a recovered Drug Addict. The most important thing in his life is that twice a month he sets up for a Church Event. Being able to contribute in that way gives his life meaning. Providing these types of opportunities for the people on the margins is the glue that keeps societies together. It is easy to throw stones, and say that all those people in that church are "right wing" but they are creating space & including the marginalized.
Many of the people who talk about diversity, are not willing to make space for the people on the edges so of course people on the edges gravitate to the institutions that do.
“What could the media be missing about where men and women are at these days?”
What if they’re not missing anything? I wish you would consider the media’s role in social engineering, Tara. There is intent in creating imbalance between the sexes, and in society in general. Narratives are promoted when it behooves those in power; others are suppressed when they don’t further the goals. Your guest calls it a ‘low trust’ moment. Why is that? Could it be that we are in a ‘low truth’ moment, and start wondering why that is?
Tara, nice guy. Again, dancing around the real issue. "Roadmap for men"? Useless until we remove the road blocks. And, the roadblocks are the open and unapologetic discrimination against heterosexual white men, overwhelmingly in favor of women. You can't cure what you misdiagnose.
Younger women have been raised to view themselves as victims of males. This justifies "centering" them. Hiring them. Promoting them. Etc etc. Hard to give that up, both the perks and the victimhood self-definition and worldview.
Sooooooo. Men have been told we're shit for the last 20 years mostly by women. Now we're supposed to go out in public spaces and gently inquire as to how we can make women feel better? Fuck that. How about you experts do something useful and learn how to be plumbers and electricians? Going through life, I've run into a strain of people that create problems out of thin air. That's our college educated class. Just get the fuck out of the way and let people be, so we can go out and interact with other people like normal human beings. Net negative.
LOVE this interview. So many things I would like to say. And for the sake of brevity, I will limit myself to the tip of the iceberg.
In 23 years of working with families and individuals in the areas of Church, mental wellness and community development, my feeling is that the major shift in the last 20 years is the increased need for relationships that are emotionally intelligent. The collapse of manufacturing in 2000 (remember Nortel????) moved us to a service based economy.
So here are my two points in relation to this interview.
In 2019 I wrote a research paper on the dynamics of Male victims of Domestic Violence and abuse. Out of that paper, in relation to this interview, here are the two points:
1) Raising children is a super important point - in North America we are FAR behind Europe. I the US - research focused primarily on the delivery of services tied to political battles tied to $$$. In Canada, the research was non-existent. From a Canadian perspective, I found it ironic that the best Public Messaging came out of Alberta. Canadians will hopefully understand the irony. It is Europe that there was research directed at helpful emerging social attitudes at looking at people as people before slotting them in this or that category.
2) Bottom line - men need help in overcoming this deficit without stigmatizing them. That means accepting that men form relationships along social norms just as any human being does. I get the sense that there still is a feeling that "men need to do this on their own. It's their responsibility" in the subtext. To use a stereotype to make the point - no one would find it weird that a man would help his wife (for example) to change the oil in her car, if she were of a certain age. The point is that, today it might sound odd to make that gender distinction. And we need to collectively be mindful that it took time to get there.
THANK YOU for this series. In the end, the lesson is that fundamental respect, curiosity about the other person and wishing mutual being for all is what will soften the gender wars - at least from my perspective, for whatever that's worth (LOL)
Females run on emotions and are easily swayed. Guys see through the bullshit.
Like seeing through the bullshit of this comment. Running on emotions means you’re more aware of what is driving your actions. Men who don’t give credence to their emotions often act unconsciously, and say and do stupid things like post sexist comments. Both sexes can be manipulated equally. It’s not emotionality that causes gullibility, it’s lack of emotional awareness.
You prove my point, thanks.
Actually, no. My wife told me to post that comment.