I want to read this book not because I feel oppressed but rather because I am listening to an author actually saying out loud what I have thought for years. Never mind that she is a she and I am a he. Thank you Nina Power and thank you Tara Henley for this timely interview. Now, if only we all haven't lost our minds to the extent that what has been reflected upon is still capable of being taken in..........
While I appreciate much of this analysis and will likely read the book, the interview points out one of the ironies of female assessment "what men want"?
In general, what men want is generally simple. What women want... well it is often such a shifting complex ball of yarn that many women themselves cannot unravel their own answer.
It seems biological to me... the caring and nurturing mother and the protecting and providing father. The former is emotionally-driven... the later one more of survival problem-solving. We have had centuries of evolution to embed this wiring. We are stupid to think that just a progressive gender-shift political agenda will change it. And women make mistakes projecting their own complex emotional ball of yarn onto the interests of men.
Dr, Laura Schlessinger has addressed this topic well. She explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire.
Feminists rage at this suggestion that for happy gender relationships the needs of men come first. Their aim is the opposite... to shower the gender of male with sufficient disrespect... to punch them down... so the feminists can feel better by comparison. And somehow the feminists think that this strategy will empower them to rule. Somehow the feminists think this will make for a more utopian society.
But consider this... there are really no material examples in our history of human existence where women dominated and ruled any proven successful society. Of course the feminists will say that men used violence against women to prevent their rise, but the truth is that during the last 3000 years or more there have been plenty of opportunities for effective systems of female-led social governance to evolve. In the case where men went to war and thus the population of males shrank to the point that females dominated the population... even then we don't see any evidence of dominant female rule. If it worked, it would be.
The gender war is really a war against those that would prefer an ongoing successful society and feminists that are resentful victim mentality nihilists. Because of changes to the economy primarily made by men, modern males are not in a strong enough position to combat the feminists in their plan to destroy men. The call goes out to the rest of women to do more hard work to figure out the type of world they really want to live in... and to fight the feminists for that world. This book seems a good step in that direction.
Meanwhile I will continue to support gender equality.
In simplistic answers, there are often simple truths. My admittedly biased take on it is this.
First: There is an old saying: women are complicated; men are simple. Feed 'em, f**k 'em, and take care of their children and they will never stray. My first wife did none of the three without coercion - or at least nagging - and I strayed. Several times. I hated doing it, I hated myself for doing it, and and never felt good about it. And I divorced her. My second wife did two of the three - the first two, and in twenty years of marriage I never looked at another woman twice.
Second: Women are interested in people; men are interested in things. Absolutely true. Men don't read romance books. Women don't delight in rebuilding the diesel engines on their tractors or building airplanes in their basements. They often ignore their wives and expect them to just do their jobs, like they do, without complaint. (Ask me how I know.) Poor form. The man who takes the time to be kind, gentle, and considerate of his wife will be a happy man.
Third: Men are violent. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's the nature of the beast. The monster is always just under the surface. Evolution made it, and evolution demands it of him. It is what makes him protect you and your child even at the forfeiture of his own life. It cannot be changed. Nag him if you must; argue with him if you must, but have it very clear in your mind where is the limit. My niece was trying to bully her sister's teen son and when he'd had enough and walked away, she blocked the exit from the room. He lost it and nearly broke her neck. She was shocked that he had "... actually TOUCHED me!" I told her, "Don't ever block a man's way. You're lucky he didn't kill you. Don't ever do that."
I'm a lot older and a lot smarter now. Smart enough to recognize that a: a marriage between a couple in love is bliss beyond compare, and b: sadly, very sadly, it's not my line of work.
Men are more likely to be >physically< violent than women. Which is why in most societies boys are conditioned from a young age to not hit girls. Violence though, at it's root word means to violate someone's physical space or their rights to bodily autonomy, which includes mental assaults. If the lady described above is bullying, she most certainly is being violent, if not in an overt physical way.
The idea that, through some type of conditioning or social re-ordering, men will always contain their tempers is a fool's errand. Throughout history men have been kept in check - by other men. Now, after decades of coming under attack and dealing with women who get in their face or hit them (Amber, anyone?) men are somewhat disinclined to worry much about protocol. The ancients understood that everything has a dichotomy - a yin and a yang, if you will - a push and pull. Use all the mechanisms of law and society to denigrate and attack a group that mostly keeps its head down and does its job, and there are consequences. I have two sons, and I would advise them both to never marry. Not until things change.
A request...could you please leave me alone? I'm an 80-year-old white male who loves women and doesn't beat up on anybody. I can be angered but I don't go out of my way to offend. I suffer stupidity inelegantly
I'm tired of reading about "my" need for understanding, forgiveness and special forms of consideration. I'm doing just fine.
But Tom, 'they' are only just discovering that 'they' have helped create a problem in society that 'they' do not benefit from, such as the 3 male friends the author lost to suicide.
A: Men Are Violent (in what universe is this supposed to answer the supposed "question"?
Let's play spot the Gros Generalization:
Q**: What do men want?
A: Men Are Violent (and it appears the men around here are perfectly happy with that gross generalization)
Let's play "What I learned from this":
Q**: What do men want?
A: It appears a bunch of the men around here want to drop a pair so they won't feel the need to go along with the Bait & Switch BS and the Gross Generalizations.
Q**, it is not REALLY a question. It is just a setup for the propaganda.
Please stop defining the woke crowd as 'left' wing. Believing in biology is hardly 'leftist heresy'. 'Left' & 'Right' are totally blurred now anyway, but plenty of people of all spots and stripes think biology is fundamental to our existence and calling them heretics is dangerous catering to the zealots.
Actually, you're wrong about links between wokeism, leftism, and beliefs about biological realities. You need to explore the culture a bit more. Try James Lindsay's "New Discourses" for a start.
I suspect the willingness of this feminist philosopher to talk kindly about men, about the suffering of men that MRAs have been dispised for pointing out, and about how our culture hates and blames men as a class is an early indicator that the culture is starting to rediscover the humanity and value of men. But this change is going to happen very, very slowly against huge cultural inertia. We are going to need the focus of virtue that she spoke of because, although the culture had made great progress against sexism (and racism) in the last few decades, the dark attraction of tribalism and vengeance has since brought us to the point of glorifying current sexism and racism as virtues.
When my Court process started, they would try and isolate he at every Court appearance. I could not see any family or my children. During the marriage I could not have friends or have contact with my side of the family or relatives. Then the Court was told I had left the country all HELL broke lose when I got back. The Ex told the Judge she wanted my Passport taken away and of coarse the Judge asked why. The Ex-wife told the Judge that Larry wanted to travel to South America and that she had heard about these large Amazon Women and that they would have their way with Larry and hold him, then the Ex would be left penny less and destitute. The Judge agreed and the paper work was written up then my Passport was gone. They wanted my cell phone taken, as I found out we do not own the air waves in Canada.
Interesting stuff as always. Personally, I've been thinking more about what women want. Mainly through understanding the movies and TV shows recently which are written, produced and starring women. I find it a fascinating insight into how people understand women's role in society and to what extent people absorb these stories.
The topic of domestic abuse is mentioned in the interview. Someone related in another comment section about his 18 months as a volunteer at women's shelter in the UK. He said he saw women return 3 to 4 times always choosing the violent types of men, they looked on him as the sort that was too 'soft' for their attention.
The 4 most ridiculous words in the mouth of a woman, because:
a) they won't listen to the answer from a, ahem, man
b) why should they? they already know the answer ... "Men want whatever I say they want."
I won't quote her, but I knew a early '40s woman with a lot to offer, who had never been married, but had been engaged 2x. She told me about the 2 situations and it was obvious to me that she had basically tried to be the boss of both highly successful men. I didn't say this to her. I asked her what she had learned. No quote, but basically she had learned that she just has to read men's minds. The whole problem was she didn't psycho-analyze these men early enough. The reason they fled at the last moment was their innate inner troubles. It had nothing to do with her. OK!!!
So, maybe Nina and Tara, they mostly want you to pay attention, because you're truly awful at this psycho-analysis.
I want to read this book not because I feel oppressed but rather because I am listening to an author actually saying out loud what I have thought for years. Never mind that she is a she and I am a he. Thank you Nina Power and thank you Tara Henley for this timely interview. Now, if only we all haven't lost our minds to the extent that what has been reflected upon is still capable of being taken in..........
While I appreciate much of this analysis and will likely read the book, the interview points out one of the ironies of female assessment "what men want"?
In general, what men want is generally simple. What women want... well it is often such a shifting complex ball of yarn that many women themselves cannot unravel their own answer.
It seems biological to me... the caring and nurturing mother and the protecting and providing father. The former is emotionally-driven... the later one more of survival problem-solving. We have had centuries of evolution to embed this wiring. We are stupid to think that just a progressive gender-shift political agenda will change it. And women make mistakes projecting their own complex emotional ball of yarn onto the interests of men.
Dr, Laura Schlessinger has addressed this topic well. She explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire.
Feminists rage at this suggestion that for happy gender relationships the needs of men come first. Their aim is the opposite... to shower the gender of male with sufficient disrespect... to punch them down... so the feminists can feel better by comparison. And somehow the feminists think that this strategy will empower them to rule. Somehow the feminists think this will make for a more utopian society.
But consider this... there are really no material examples in our history of human existence where women dominated and ruled any proven successful society. Of course the feminists will say that men used violence against women to prevent their rise, but the truth is that during the last 3000 years or more there have been plenty of opportunities for effective systems of female-led social governance to evolve. In the case where men went to war and thus the population of males shrank to the point that females dominated the population... even then we don't see any evidence of dominant female rule. If it worked, it would be.
The gender war is really a war against those that would prefer an ongoing successful society and feminists that are resentful victim mentality nihilists. Because of changes to the economy primarily made by men, modern males are not in a strong enough position to combat the feminists in their plan to destroy men. The call goes out to the rest of women to do more hard work to figure out the type of world they really want to live in... and to fight the feminists for that world. This book seems a good step in that direction.
Meanwhile I will continue to support gender equality.
In simplistic answers, there are often simple truths. My admittedly biased take on it is this.
First: There is an old saying: women are complicated; men are simple. Feed 'em, f**k 'em, and take care of their children and they will never stray. My first wife did none of the three without coercion - or at least nagging - and I strayed. Several times. I hated doing it, I hated myself for doing it, and and never felt good about it. And I divorced her. My second wife did two of the three - the first two, and in twenty years of marriage I never looked at another woman twice.
Second: Women are interested in people; men are interested in things. Absolutely true. Men don't read romance books. Women don't delight in rebuilding the diesel engines on their tractors or building airplanes in their basements. They often ignore their wives and expect them to just do their jobs, like they do, without complaint. (Ask me how I know.) Poor form. The man who takes the time to be kind, gentle, and considerate of his wife will be a happy man.
Third: Men are violent. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's the nature of the beast. The monster is always just under the surface. Evolution made it, and evolution demands it of him. It is what makes him protect you and your child even at the forfeiture of his own life. It cannot be changed. Nag him if you must; argue with him if you must, but have it very clear in your mind where is the limit. My niece was trying to bully her sister's teen son and when he'd had enough and walked away, she blocked the exit from the room. He lost it and nearly broke her neck. She was shocked that he had "... actually TOUCHED me!" I told her, "Don't ever block a man's way. You're lucky he didn't kill you. Don't ever do that."
I'm a lot older and a lot smarter now. Smart enough to recognize that a: a marriage between a couple in love is bliss beyond compare, and b: sadly, very sadly, it's not my line of work.
Men are more likely to be >physically< violent than women. Which is why in most societies boys are conditioned from a young age to not hit girls. Violence though, at it's root word means to violate someone's physical space or their rights to bodily autonomy, which includes mental assaults. If the lady described above is bullying, she most certainly is being violent, if not in an overt physical way.
telling it like it is!...there is a reason men have testosterone...that's just nature.
The idea that, through some type of conditioning or social re-ordering, men will always contain their tempers is a fool's errand. Throughout history men have been kept in check - by other men. Now, after decades of coming under attack and dealing with women who get in their face or hit them (Amber, anyone?) men are somewhat disinclined to worry much about protocol. The ancients understood that everything has a dichotomy - a yin and a yang, if you will - a push and pull. Use all the mechanisms of law and society to denigrate and attack a group that mostly keeps its head down and does its job, and there are consequences. I have two sons, and I would advise them both to never marry. Not until things change.
Feminism:
Good times: who needs men!
Hard times: where are the men?
A request...could you please leave me alone? I'm an 80-year-old white male who loves women and doesn't beat up on anybody. I can be angered but I don't go out of my way to offend. I suffer stupidity inelegantly
I'm tired of reading about "my" need for understanding, forgiveness and special forms of consideration. I'm doing just fine.
Let's move on.
But Tom, 'they' are only just discovering that 'they' have helped create a problem in society that 'they' do not benefit from, such as the 3 male friends the author lost to suicide.
Would love for Tara and Nina to have a discussion with Jordan Peterson.
Let's play spot the Bait & Switch BS:
Q**: What do men want?
A: Men Are Violent (in what universe is this supposed to answer the supposed "question"?
Let's play spot the Gros Generalization:
Q**: What do men want?
A: Men Are Violent (and it appears the men around here are perfectly happy with that gross generalization)
Let's play "What I learned from this":
Q**: What do men want?
A: It appears a bunch of the men around here want to drop a pair so they won't feel the need to go along with the Bait & Switch BS and the Gross Generalizations.
Q**, it is not REALLY a question. It is just a setup for the propaganda.
Please stop defining the woke crowd as 'left' wing. Believing in biology is hardly 'leftist heresy'. 'Left' & 'Right' are totally blurred now anyway, but plenty of people of all spots and stripes think biology is fundamental to our existence and calling them heretics is dangerous catering to the zealots.
Actually, you're wrong about links between wokeism, leftism, and beliefs about biological realities. You need to explore the culture a bit more. Try James Lindsay's "New Discourses" for a start.
Thanks Tara... Admirer of of your courage and work! Great stuff
I suspect the willingness of this feminist philosopher to talk kindly about men, about the suffering of men that MRAs have been dispised for pointing out, and about how our culture hates and blames men as a class is an early indicator that the culture is starting to rediscover the humanity and value of men. But this change is going to happen very, very slowly against huge cultural inertia. We are going to need the focus of virtue that she spoke of because, although the culture had made great progress against sexism (and racism) in the last few decades, the dark attraction of tribalism and vengeance has since brought us to the point of glorifying current sexism and racism as virtues.
We want:
Beautiful women
Nurturing women
Main women
Side women
I think that sums it up.
When my Court process started, they would try and isolate he at every Court appearance. I could not see any family or my children. During the marriage I could not have friends or have contact with my side of the family or relatives. Then the Court was told I had left the country all HELL broke lose when I got back. The Ex told the Judge she wanted my Passport taken away and of coarse the Judge asked why. The Ex-wife told the Judge that Larry wanted to travel to South America and that she had heard about these large Amazon Women and that they would have their way with Larry and hold him, then the Ex would be left penny less and destitute. The Judge agreed and the paper work was written up then my Passport was gone. They wanted my cell phone taken, as I found out we do not own the air waves in Canada.
Interesting stuff as always. Personally, I've been thinking more about what women want. Mainly through understanding the movies and TV shows recently which are written, produced and starring women. I find it a fascinating insight into how people understand women's role in society and to what extent people absorb these stories.
The topic of domestic abuse is mentioned in the interview. Someone related in another comment section about his 18 months as a volunteer at women's shelter in the UK. He said he saw women return 3 to 4 times always choosing the violent types of men, they looked on him as the sort that was too 'soft' for their attention.
The heart wants what the heart wants. 🤷♀️
Role of vaccine-induced juvenile autoimmune hypothyroidism in gender dysphoria
https://vinuarumugham.substack.com/p/role-of-vaccine-induced-juvenile?s=w
Add endocrine disrupters, corrupt chemical, pharma companies and corrupted Congress/regulators for more dysfunction.
The 4 most ridiculous words in the mouth of a woman, because:
a) they won't listen to the answer from a, ahem, man
b) why should they? they already know the answer ... "Men want whatever I say they want."
I won't quote her, but I knew a early '40s woman with a lot to offer, who had never been married, but had been engaged 2x. She told me about the 2 situations and it was obvious to me that she had basically tried to be the boss of both highly successful men. I didn't say this to her. I asked her what she had learned. No quote, but basically she had learned that she just has to read men's minds. The whole problem was she didn't psycho-analyze these men early enough. The reason they fled at the last moment was their innate inner troubles. It had nothing to do with her. OK!!!
So, maybe Nina and Tara, they mostly want you to pay attention, because you're truly awful at this psycho-analysis.